As Long as You're Meeting my Needs...

Since Brandon and I've been married we have been on the hunt for a new church home. We had been attending a church for a while, and why we loved the pastor's messages and the worship every Sunday we never really felt at home or that we were being plugged in. Probably because we weren't making much of an effort, but we also didn't feel like there was much of a ministry to people in our stage of life. Young, newly married, no kids but out of college and career oriented. My aunt and uncle call us the lost generation of the Church. Anyway in search of a new home, we have been visiting several different churches in the Lubbock area. For the past couple of weeks, however, we've been going to Experience Life. At first we weren't so sure about this whole "casual church experience." We both come from pretty traditional backgrounds when it comes to church. So attending worship in a Sportsplex, while wearing shorts and flip flops, and praising our God "rock band" style was a little scary at first. Experience Life is different though. It feels like a safe house to worship freely, and it's encouraging to know that there are people of all stages of life in attendance. I feel there are a lot of people, including myself, who are hungry for what this church offers. It's relevance to everyday life has started to fill me up in ways I haven't felt in a long time. Bottom line, we are really liking it.

This Sunday, pastor Chris Galanos began a new series called Redefining Marriage. I think it's a really relevant series even if you've never been married or if you been married for 40 years. Or in my case 4 months. Anyway, this past Sunday's message was called "As long as you're meeting my needs." Before he even started talking, pastor Chris told everyone that we all would be offended at some point or another during this series. As he opened the message I could feel my heart sinking a little. He said that most of us had been affected by divorce in some form or fashion, but divorce is not God's plan for marriage. Ok I know this. But if you get a divorce and marry another person it's committing adultery! (Matthew 5:31-32, Matthew 19:3-9) He went on to say the only biblical reasons for getting a divorce (not that you should or have to get a divorce for these reasons) is if you spouse 1. Cheats on you or 2. You are a follower of Christ and your spouse isn't (1 Corinthians 7:10-15) That all other reasons for divorce God says are not good enough reasons to check out of the covenant you have made with your spouse. Society tells us that if we get married and things get complicated it's easy just to quit and find someone new. That being true to yourself is always best and if this whole marriage thing is just not working out then it's ok to leave. It's ok to leave if you don't love him/her anymore. It's ok to leave for any reason. But with this mentality comes DANGEROUS CONSEQUENCES.

Then he gave us these stats: 1/2 of all 1st marriages end in divorce, 2/3 of all 2nd marriages end in divorce and 3/4 of all 3rd marriages end in divorce. Wow! What that tells me is that being married to a different person doesn't solve the problem you had in the 1st marriage. Obviously the "as long as your meeting my needs" mentality was being used in all 3 marriages instead of God's plan for marriage which is "Till we are separated by death". That the grass is not always greener on the other side. It was really eye opening to me and I really got a lot out of the entire message. To conclude, he challenged us that if you were single and have never been married, DON'T RUSH INTO MARRIAGE. If you are single and divorced: DON'T RUSH INTO MARRIAGE AGAIN. If you are married MAKE DIVORCE NOT AN OPTION. And if you are divorce and not because of the two biblical reasons then pray that God would start to open your heart to RECONCILE WITH YOUR SPOUSE! That challenge blew me away! Literally my heart fell out of my chest. I mean that seems so impossible to me. That maybe my parents could reconcile their marriage after all they/we have been through in the past 3 years. I mean as far as I know neither committed adultery and both are Christians. The reasons for their divorce were most definitely complicated to say the least and there is so much pain still there, but if God could some how open their hearts to find love for each other as husband and wife again that would be truly amazing. I know it would have to take some pretty powerful God strength to heal their broken marriage. But impossible? Nothing's impossible with God. The Bible doesn't say some things are possible in Christ Jesus, but "ALL things are possible", and I truly in my heart of hearts believe that. I want to express that I'm not saying any of this is easy and that it happens automatically. I do know however, that God loves his people and forgives his people. We are all sinners, but through Christ Jesus we are forgiven. His blood was shed so that even divorce can be forgiven. Next week the message is called, Marriage? Forget That!