Hannah Is 4 Months Old :)

On Saturday my baby turned 4 months. It's amazing how much she has changed in 4 short months. She is no longer a newborn but really growing into this little baby girl. I love her so much and enjoy every second I get to spend with her.

Friday night we went out for Brandon's birthday. He thought we were just going out to dinner, but I surprised him by throwing him a surprise dinner party with some of his closet friends and there wives. We ate at Manna and it was delicious and such a neat place to celebrate. Then I surprised him again by booking us a room at the Overton Hotel for the night. My mom stayed at our house and took care of the baby so we could enjoy a night away from home. It was a great time and he was so surprised.

Anyway, back to Hannah. We went to the doctor yesterday and she is in great health. She weighs a whopping 15lbs 10oz!!! Which is a pound more than I thought she would weigh. She's also measuring 25.5" in length. They said she was in the 85th percentile for weight and 87th for height. No wonder my arms are getting so tired lately after lugging her around.


Here are some other stats about Hannah this month:

-You still have dark hair and beautiful blue eyes. I love them and hope they don't change.
-You're wearing 3-6 month clothes and some 6 months clothes
-You wear a size 2 diaper
-You sleep well every night. I put you down around 7:30-8pm and you sleep til 7am. Most nights you wake up once around 4am but then you go back to sleep after a bottle.
-You nap inconsistently. Some days are good and others you just take little cat naps all day.
-You still eat about every 3 hours
-You eat 4-5oz bottles
-You cry only if you are really tired or really hungry. We can't move fast enough to get you your bottle if you are really hungry! You will scream bloody murder until you get it which really gets my heart racing every time. Ha!
-You spit up a lot. Which I think partly has to do with the drainage you have do to all this dry weather

-You still like to ride in the car which makes you a dream baby to take anywhere. We will be taking a 6 hour car ride trip to Oklahoma at the end of August and I think you will do well.
-You really started to smile a lot more lately. You always are happy when you wake up in the morning. You are no longer the "serious" baby at day care. They just think you are so sweet and dote on you all the time.
-You also are very vocal and love to "talk"
-You have much more neck control and can push up when your on your belly
-You rolled from your belly to your back a few times now and your mama was very proud of you
-You like to be held but are a wiggle worm so it's hard to hold you
-You love your daddy and he can make you laugh
-You found your feet and like to pull up on them especially when I'm changing you.
-You started grabbing at everything in sight. You love my hair and won't let go :)

We love you baby girl and can't wait to see what exciting things you will do next.

31 is lots of FUN!!!

Today is Brandon's 31st birthday. We woke this morning and Hannah and I both had a card for him.

On a side note...Buying cards is one of my favorite things. I'm really mindful to pick the perfect cards for people. This is a trait that was handed down to me from my mom and one I hope Hannah to inherit. For now, I will be picking cards for her to give her daddy until she's old enough to pick them herself.

We then ate breakfast as a family. We sat Hannah in her Bumbo seat and sat her up on the lazy susan so she could look around. I think we will do that more often now that she has more head control.

Last night we celebrated B's birthday with my dad and tonight we are going to celebrate with my mom and grandma. Friday I have something very special planned for the two of us, but more on that next week.

Baby girl will be 4 months old on Saturday. Hard to believe and I'm sure I'm going to say that every month til her 1st birthday and beyond. I will have her stats next week after her 4 month well baby check. Boo more shots :(

For now, let me leave you with new photos of Hannah. These are the more "professional" ones that I plan on taking each month with my work camera.

3 Months and 3 Weeks!!!

This summer is just flying. Especially this months. Whoa! Can't believe it's mid July. Next week Brandon is turning 31!!! Tomorrow will mark exactly one year that Brandon and I found out I was pregnant. I was 4 weeks along. Can't believe all that's happened since then. It's amazing what can happen in a year. Hannah will almost be 16 months old this time next year which is really hard to imagine right now. Time just moves so fast and they grow so quickly. I can't believe she's not a newborn anymore. I have to go through her dresser and closet this weekend and pack away the clothes she has already outgrown. There are so many cute outfits that I love that she can no longer wear. Sometimes I get sad thinking she'll never be that tiny again, but at the same time I can't wait to see all the milestones she will hit soon.

Anyway that's a short blog because I have to get back to work, but I'll leave you with some recent photos.

Love to all :)

Hannah with 1 of her great grandmothers. She has 2 more. We are going in August to see Brandon's Grandma in OKC and hopefully she will get to meet my Nana soon as well.


Big Girl enjoying "bath-time"

"I'm sorry baby, but mommy just wanted to get a picture of you in your cute duck jammies." Oh well

Hannah Kate Update

Last weekend was really nice. We spent the relaxing long holiday weekend eating great food and hanging with friends and family. We celebrated the 4th of July actually on Sunday the 3rd. We spent the actual 4th of July napping and watching movies. Our neighborhood had it's annual 4th of July block party Sunday though. No fireworks this year because of the burn ban but we still had a lot of fun. I did spend a lot the time inside soothing and taking care of a cranky baby. It think the heat was getting to her. She looked very cute though. I loved the patriotic outfit Brandon's step-mom gave her. It was so cute. Here are a couple pics from the weekend.

We attempted to put Hannah's feet in a baby pool, but she wasn't having it at all. I'm glad I put her in this swimsuit because she is already too big for it. Ha!

Yesterday my baby girl turned 15 weeks or 3 1/2 months. This has been a really fun age. She is really starting to discover the world. We see her do new things everyday. She really is "talking" all the time and makes the sweetest noises. She is also holding her head up more and feels less fragile to me. It's so much fun to watch her grow.

Yesterday we were in the living room playing with her on the floor and Brandon scooped her up and started asking her how her day at school (day care) was and blowing on her neck. All the sudden she started laughing. It was hilarious. She has never laughed like that before and it really melted all of us.
Sorry the video is sideways. I can't figure out how to rotate it.

Hannah's Birth Story

Just as a declaimer, it's taken me a long time to have the courage to sit down and write out about Hannah's birth. I love my baby girl more than anything in the whole world, but her birth was so heartbreaking for me and so life altering that it has really been hard for me to write about it until now. The only reason I'm doing it is because I do want to document what happened during her birth for future reference and to give others an insight into my heart and how God has taken me by the hand and guided me through all the bitterness and guilt I felt and still feel about what happened the day my daughter was born.

I realize this is the longest blog in history, but I wanted to document everything that happened.

I had a plan going into labor. I was not going to be induced, I wanted to labor naturally as long as possible and then get an epidural, and have my baby vaginally like God intended. I was really opposed to having a c-section and wanted to do everything I could not to have one. Well the week Hannah was "due" to arrive I was so tired of being pregnant. My body hurt all over and I was so emotionally broken that I just needed her out! So when my Dr. L told me I was dilated to a 3cm and I could be induced all that went out the window.

We arrived midday Wednesday, March 23rd to the hospital to have our baby. I got my gown on and set up with an IV and then my awesome nurse, M., started my Pitocin. At first the contractions were very tolerable. I was cruising through labor, dilating about a cm an hour. Then my doctor came in to break my water. I thought at this point I could labor a little longer without the epidural so I decided to hold off on getting it. Well the contractions came really intensely after my water broke and I wanted the epidural quickly. In hindsight I wish I had listened to my nurse and got the epidural before my water was broken. This is one of my regrets that I wish I could change but I can't.

The anesthesiologist came in and asked me if I was ready for my epidural which I quickly responded,"yes!!!" They sat me up and bed and had me get in position. Two anesthesiologists tried to get the epidural in, but had no luck. Turns out that I have some kind of weird anatomy that allowed them to get the needle into my spine, but every time they would go in with the catheter an electrical current was sent shooting down my left side. They tried to get it in for about an hour and the another attending anesthesiologist came in to try her hand at it. After several more attempts and failures she decided to relieve me of my pain and anxiety and give me a spinal injection instead. That instantly took my pain away and I could relax again. Dr. S. told me that the spinal would wear off in about 2 hours and to let the nurses know so I could have another one when it did. Then she left. That was the pivotal moment that could have changed the outcome of what was to come.

The Pitocin was still running through me and I was able to dilate to a 7cm while feeling comforted under the relief of the spinal injection. After about two hours I began to feel the pain of the contractions again. We let the nursing staff know that I wanted my second spinal injection. It took awhile for someone to come speak to us from anesthesiology department, but finally a resident was in the room telling me that the physicians that had administered the spinal had gone off call and a new anesthesiologist was now overseeing my case. It was in his opinion that unless I was dilated to an 8 or a 9cm then I couldn't receive a second spinal.

After I was told I could not receive the second spinal I was determined to progress as fast as possible. The contractions were getting stronger, closer together, and more painful by the hour. And after about 4 hours of natural labor I had had enough. They checked me and it was determined I was at 8cm so I could receive the second spinal. After waiting for what seemed like an eternity, a fourth anesthesiologist came into my room to deliver some devastating news. It was in her expert opinion and the opinion of her boss, that the risks of doing a second spinal were too great and I couldn't receive that kind of pain relief. My only option at that point was to let her try her hand at administering the epidural. At this point of labor the Pitocin had been turned off and my body was laboring on it's own. I was having severely painful contractions every 2 to 3 minutes so the thought of another attempt of an epidural seemed horrifying, but I was desperate to get the relief. I had already been stuck 11 times or more but we let her try anyway.

Everyone had high hopes that this would be the attempt that would succeed. Every time the needle would be put in they would tell me not to move. A contraction would start and it felt like knife being stabbed into my back. I don't know how I stayed still. After eight to ten more attempts and failures it was decided that since I had not progressed far enough to push that we needed to have an emergency c-section. I was devastated, but in so much pain and finding it so hard to breathe that I didn't have time to think of anything else. All I wanted was for them to get my baby out.

I was prepped for surgery and endured another 45 minutes or so of excruciating pain before being put under general anesthesia for the surgery. Of course since it was an emergency c-section Brandon could not be present for the birth. So neither one of us saw her being born.

A NICU team was called to the OR just in case Hannah would have problems breathing after birth. This was a huge fear of mine before going under because I was told that it was a possibility she would need assistance after birth because of the general anesthesia. All I remember before she was born is crying out her name and praying that she would be okay and that I would live to see her soon. The pain was so unbearable that I thought I was going to die. When I came out of the anesthesia I wasn't allowed to have any strong medication to relieve the pain right away. So I felt everything. I was then rolled back into our labor and delivery suite where my family and new baby were waiting for me.

Hannah did great and had no complications that warranted a stay in the NICU. I'm so grateful to God for that. However, it was several hours before I could even muster the strength to hold her. I don't even remember anything about the rest of that night. I just remember it all hitting me two days later.

God was there with me that night and has not left me since. My faith and belief in Him has only grown stronger. He walked me through that night and held my hand. He gave strength to my family who gave me so much love and support through such a difficult time. I suffered from postpartum depression shortly after coming home from the hospital and felt hopeless. I sought medical help and feel so much better now. I will never forget her birth for as long as I live, but I know the pain in my heart will begin to lessen as time moves forward. Life is challenging and unpredictable. Life can hurt and alter you as a person, but trusting in the Lord can give you hope for a better tomorrow. I believe this is true every time I look at my beautiful baby girl.